This is one of those times when I feel like I should write something here, but really, I don't know what to write about. The whole thing with Melissa still has me really messed up. I just feel like I'm floating around in limbo and not the fun kind of limbo with the song and the stick you lean under. It's a waiting game, and exercising my patience is not something I like to do. Part of me just wants to tell her you're either with me or against me; either choose me and be with me, marry me, and hopefully live happily ever after, or just quit playing games with me and let me be miserable. The other part of me is just scared she'll choose to let me be miserable. I'm trying really, really hard to give her time to think about the situation and adjust to the fact that I love her more than she can possibly imagine.

The whole thing with Sam bothers me, but not because I think Sam is any real threat. He just can't love her the way I do. This is purely speculation, but I think she thinks the right decision to make would be to take me back, but she can't as long as she has feelings for Sam. And if that's the case I just want her to hurry up and get Sam out of her system. And ya know, if she really does decide to be with him then I wish she would go ahead and make that decision too. I mean, I don't understand how this current situation is good for anyone.

Does Sam know that she stays with me nearly every night and how she says she still loves me and how we still talk about one day getting married? Or is that just stuff she does to pacify me? Is she the same person when she's with me or is she different around them? That's why I'd like to meet Sam and Andy. I want everything to be out in the open. Let them stand there in the room and see if she can still tell me those things. If she means it, then why should it matter who knows it?

I'm really just as tired of all the drama as anyone else.