Well, I went to Eric's yesterday. Everything is peachy keen with him and his family. He bought his wife a new car - a 2003 Taurus. I got to see the kids and they are two of the cutest little brats you'll ever see. I really should take pictures the next time I'm there. What else can I say though, the man's got it good. I think the only time he has problems with his wife is when I come to visit. I don't know why but it's always been like that. *shrugs* He hadn't read my journal recently, so I saved him some reading time and gave him the reader's digest version of what all has been going on and how I feel, and how Melissa has told me she feels.

Here's what he had to say... for one, she really is perfect for me. Secondly, I'm an idiot for screwing things up, but he knows me so well that he knew I was going to do it eventually. He doesn't think it would be a bad idea for me to try to date someone else as it would give everyone time to think. I just don't see that as an option though... if for no other reason than I don't want to be with anyone else. He asked me if it came down to it, would I marry her? I told him that if I thought she would take me back, I would. That answer wasn't a spur of the moment decision. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, even though I wouldn't have brought it up.

I know Melissa will probably read this and think I'm full of shit or whatever, but I've changed. I really have. I've never felt this way about anyone or anything and I'm not scared of love anymore. I'm not scared of spending the rest of my life with her. I'm not scared of how we would deal with the religious aspects of raising our children. I'm not scared that I won't be able to always make her happy. I'm not scared of picking a place to eat (assuming I ever eat again). I'm not scared that she won't make me happy. I talked to her last night and I told her I'm going to call her as soon as she gets off work today so maybe we could do something, and I know it goes without saying, but I'm really looking forward to seeing her.