I'm feeling a lot better today. I got to see Melissa last night =). We went and saw Shrek 2. It wasn't a bad movie. I wouldn't put it right up there with the first one, but it was really funny.
After that, we went to Wal-Mart to kill some time. (This is Alabama, in case you are confused). We just walked around and looked at different things. We looked at the wall posters and when she would come across the poster of a super model or something she would quickly skip over it, and that made me happy. We looked at the housewares and kinda kidded around with the idea of what all we would buy if we were to move in together. Then we looked through the shoe section and made our way over to the paints. She showed me a shade of green and said she liked it and that one day she would like for us to have a room that color. After a little compromise, we decided that one day we would have a room that would be painted blue on the top half and her shade of green on the bottom half and in that room we would have lots of plants and a bunny. =) After that, we walked through the toy section and finally made our way over to electronics where we dug through the discount DVD bin for quite a while. I found the movie Airheads and had to have it. I offered to buy Melissa the best of friends DVDs for season one and two but she said she didn't really want them.
After wal-mart, we went to a little bar, I don't recall the name, where a band was playing and one of the guys in the band was a friend of her brother's. Of course, that means her brother and his girlfriend were also there. The name of the band, if I recall correctly, was Above Zero. Melissa didn't drink, but I had a screwdriver, and I was really digging the band... probably only because they sounded good and were playing covers I knew the words to. I guess the loud music was a little too much for Melissa because her head started hurting so we left early. After that, I took her back to my house and gave her a much needed massage I had promised her.
It wasn't until I was taking Melissa home that she finally told me the one thing I needed to snap me out of this weird place I've been. She basically told me to just be myself. She said that with the exception of yesterday, the way I've been acting, basicly dumping on her with all my inner garbage, trying so hard to get her back, and making her feel guilty about doing things with other people, that I haven't been myself and I haven't been fun to be around. If I really want a shot at winning her back I have to just be myself, the care-free guy she fell in love with, and whatever happens will happen. It sounds really simple, and for sure, it's what I've should have been doing all along. Last night I actually fell asleep for the first time this week thinking everything will be allright.
Also, I'm going on day 4 of my fast. Still haven't eaten anything since monday, with the possible exception of that night I spent with Melissa :P. Anyway, yeah... I just wanted to give everyone an update and let you all know that I'm sticking with this thing for at least a little while. I told Melissa 40 days. I seriously doubt I can go that long, but it's something to shoot for. I really need to buy a scale too to see if I'm losing any weight. Weight loss certainly isn't the main purpose of my fasting, but would certainly be a pleasant side-effect.
Lastly, I just want to take this opportunity once again to thank everyone who has been there for me this week. Thank you all. Everything is going to be ok.
After that, we went to Wal-Mart to kill some time. (This is Alabama, in case you are confused). We just walked around and looked at different things. We looked at the wall posters and when she would come across the poster of a super model or something she would quickly skip over it, and that made me happy. We looked at the housewares and kinda kidded around with the idea of what all we would buy if we were to move in together. Then we looked through the shoe section and made our way over to the paints. She showed me a shade of green and said she liked it and that one day she would like for us to have a room that color. After a little compromise, we decided that one day we would have a room that would be painted blue on the top half and her shade of green on the bottom half and in that room we would have lots of plants and a bunny. =) After that, we walked through the toy section and finally made our way over to electronics where we dug through the discount DVD bin for quite a while. I found the movie Airheads and had to have it. I offered to buy Melissa the best of friends DVDs for season one and two but she said she didn't really want them.
After wal-mart, we went to a little bar, I don't recall the name, where a band was playing and one of the guys in the band was a friend of her brother's. Of course, that means her brother and his girlfriend were also there. The name of the band, if I recall correctly, was Above Zero. Melissa didn't drink, but I had a screwdriver, and I was really digging the band... probably only because they sounded good and were playing covers I knew the words to. I guess the loud music was a little too much for Melissa because her head started hurting so we left early. After that, I took her back to my house and gave her a much needed massage I had promised her.
It wasn't until I was taking Melissa home that she finally told me the one thing I needed to snap me out of this weird place I've been. She basically told me to just be myself. She said that with the exception of yesterday, the way I've been acting, basicly dumping on her with all my inner garbage, trying so hard to get her back, and making her feel guilty about doing things with other people, that I haven't been myself and I haven't been fun to be around. If I really want a shot at winning her back I have to just be myself, the care-free guy she fell in love with, and whatever happens will happen. It sounds really simple, and for sure, it's what I've should have been doing all along. Last night I actually fell asleep for the first time this week thinking everything will be allright.
Also, I'm going on day 4 of my fast. Still haven't eaten anything since monday, with the possible exception of that night I spent with Melissa :P. Anyway, yeah... I just wanted to give everyone an update and let you all know that I'm sticking with this thing for at least a little while. I told Melissa 40 days. I seriously doubt I can go that long, but it's something to shoot for. I really need to buy a scale too to see if I'm losing any weight. Weight loss certainly isn't the main purpose of my fasting, but would certainly be a pleasant side-effect.
Lastly, I just want to take this opportunity once again to thank everyone who has been there for me this week. Thank you all. Everything is going to be ok.
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