Ok, time for another entry ... actually... well past time, I think. I, uhm, am doing pretty well... physically & mentally I think. I'm a little happier about being me... though I can't really say why. I know I haven't been depressed as much as I usually am this time of year. Last year, I was doing so much better financially that I was able to get everyone I knew something really nice, and while it felt good to be able to do that, I was still very depressed, and I guess feeling under-apreciated. Well, this year while I couldn't buy anything great for everyone, I did buy gifts for each of my nephews and neices, and I got the PDA my Mom wanted to so badly. A PDA that i didn't think I could afford, but I managed to finance. I got my Dad a watch, and went in halves with Mom (who also didn't have much money to spend this holiday season) on DVD players for both of my brothers & their families. As for what I got ... another pair of blue jeans, two more black shirts, A small bottle of CKbe that I could use in one use, a little bathroom travel bag with like aftershave and stuff, and the PS2 & games my Mom paid for me to buy from Eric (...so Eric would have money to buy something for his wife) last month. I could sit here and complain about not getting everything I wanted, or about the things I got that I didn't really want, but I'm not really that kind of person anymore. These people didn't have to give me shit ... I know I haven't earned it. I'm just thankful for getting anything.

There was one other thing I wanted to put here... that might get me in trouble with my friends, but I really want... err, actually, have to say. I've been hanging out with Justin & his girlfriend Kim lately, we went to a party at Justin's uncle's house yesterday, anyway, I dunno... but while I was there, I just realized something. I realized... I kinda like Kim. Now, don't jump the gun. First of all, I know, when Eric reads this he's gonna be like "WTF?" because the one time he met her she was being kinda psycho. Which, I admit, the way she was acting that night wasn't cool at all and I can't blame him for thinking the way I know he's thinking... but she did end up apologizing for it, and it's certainly not behavior that I would consider typical of her. The second thing is, I know she likes me only as a friend, and she's going out with Justin, and that I have no business messing around with that. I don't really know if Justin would care ...he'd probably be pretty pissed, but even if he told me he didn't care, I would still not even think about doing anything... just because... I dunno ... I'm lonely, not stupid. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't even have anything to do with me. I guess what I'm saying is ya know ... "if things were different"... that's all. If anything, all she should take from this is to be flattered. I'm not trying to start shit, I don't want to creep her out. I like making her laugh, she's a good friend... and I'm perfectly comfortable leaving it at that.

Allrighty, well... I hope I didn't just get myself in too much trouble there. I guess I could always say I was a little out of it when I wrote this. Whatever... they can take it up with me IRL, but I think I made myself quite clear. That's all till next time, kids. L8r.

I am so bored. But that's just because I'm at work. Well, I realized I'm falling behind on my entries again, so here's todays' speel. I'd like to mention all the new people I've met recently through the Bum (Justin) and the bum's latest g/f, Kim. Ok, first, there is, of course, Kim. Kim seems like a really nice girl, though she is bi-polar. I don't mean bi-polar like all those phony people who say they're bipolar just to be bullshitting. Kim really is bi-polar. I can testify to that. She constantly goes from being happy, hyped up, loud talking Kim to quiet, sad, pissed off or offended Kim. However, the only flaw that I can find is that she is attracted to Justin. She did ask me once if Justin were to say he loved her, would I know if he meant it. I was as honest as possible, without doing too much injustice to Justin, who though he has his flaws, is still a friend. I told her, basically, that I have never known of Justin to tell a girl that he loves her, without meaning it... but that I have also found that coming from him, the truth and a lie are all but indistinguishable. Moving on then, there's Kim's brother, Sterling. Sterling seems like a pretty cool guy. He's definately got his own look. He's about my age, he works at whataburger, and we share about the same taste in music. Next, there's Brad, who also lives with Kim and Sterling. Brad kinda seems like a geek, with a severe southern accent, when you first meet him, but he's really not that bad. I've also been told Brad is Bi, which, not that I care, isn't all too suprising. Right now he's going out with a girl... so I'm relatively sure he's not just plain gay. In general, though, I try to just treat him like any other guy and do my best to ignore the "you're gonna have to take me to dinner, first" jokes and whatnot. I also met one of Kim's best friends, Aaron. Aaron lives in midtown. In the past, I've somewhat disliked the midtown area ... I found the close quarters to be too confined, but after spending more time in midtown, I almost kinda prefer it down there. It's the kind of area where people actually sit on their front porches and sit and talk and chill... and they know most of their neighbors and can tell by the headlights at the end of the street who is driving by. Of course, I've met so many people over at Aaron's that I don't even know if I could list them all. One person I did meet there the other day is Bernard. I was confused for a moment because I recognized Bernard from somewhere, but couldn't figure out where. Then he reminded me we were in the same English (or Philosophy) class in college. I can't remember which. Anyway... neither him or I have been back to USA since that semester.

I guess the whole point is, I've been meeting new people... something I've neglected to do for a long time. I really am trying to get out of my anti-social ways, since I never meant to be like that in the first place. Hopefully, I'll make some new long-lasting friendships and be a least a little happier about myself. More updates on the way. Stay tuned.