“Property of Wade 1 of 1”

Tuesday afternoon, Wade wrote that on my leg in “permanent” marker. By Wednesday night, she had decided things weren’t working out between us. I’m not going to say she dumped me… ‘cause she didn’t. However, I didn’t dump her either. I think it was more of a mutual acknowledgment of the chemistry we didn’t really ever have. Sure … we got along, and our involvement in private was something I know I’ll never forget… but when she asked, I had to admit, ever so grudgingly… that we just weren’t right for each other. Personally, I have no regrets, and I hope she feels the same… Sure, I’m a little depressed, mostly because I’m disappointed in myself. I feel I probably should have realized the way things were going long before it happened. The rest stems from having to learn to be single again (“single” of course being nothing more than a polite way of saying “alone.”) But it’s funny, ya know … even though it was a long distance relationship, I was still happier … on a day to day basis. Before her, I found it hard to even force a smile. Then it was like, all I had to do was think of her, and it just happened. Now all I have to do is think back to the few times we’ve shared, and I can still find that smile. I can truly say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Hopefully, we can still be friends…. and I honestly mean that. I still care about her… and I do want her to be happy. I talked to her yesterday and for some reason she thought I was going to be an asshole… but I wasn’t. How could I be an asshole to someone who gave me so much? …confidence, optimism, a reason to live. I used to think there was no one out there for me, and so what if I haven’t found her, at least now I think she exists. As for Wade, she seems to be taking the break-up well... I just hope she’s not just putting on that act for my benefit… she’s truly a wonderful person and if there’s on thing I know, it’s that she will find her Wish. And when she does, I will be very, very happy for her.

Well, I'm here again ... still alive and kicking... even though i feel a bit like life is the one that's been doing the kicking ... kicking my ass to be precise. Yea, well ... maybe it's not as bad as all that. My brother went to Washington DC ... but only spent like a week and a half there. Turned out they were working in a very bad neighborhood and the pay was nothing like they had said ... the whole crew from here ended up telling the guys in DC to shove it up their ass... and who can blame them? Meanwhile, I worked this last week on nights ... covering for Gene during his vacation. I had the mis-pleasure of working with the new girl, Julie. Ok, well, she's not exactly new ... she's been here a few months, but I've had the convenience of not working with her until just now. The girl, err woman, whatever is just plain obnoxious. She's slow, she's stupid, she's annoying, she hasn't learned a damn thing in all the time she's been here. Sure, she takes a lot of notes, but notes don't do a damn bit of good, if u never study them, or say ... commit at least some of it to memory. Sometimes it seems like she doesn't have any common sense either ... hell... I'm suprised the girl has walking around sense. So, in conclusion, the three consecutive nights i was forced to work with that imbecile were pure hell. As far as me and Wade go, everything is ok, i guess ... still haven't had a chance to see her.. but we try to talk online as much as we can.

On a different subject, I have been criticized in the past by different people who shall remain nameless who either directly or indirectly stated that it was somewhat rediculous, or shallow, or immature of me to post pictures of my car on my web site. And when i first thought about it, I wasn't sure they weren't right. I'm normally quick to defend myself, but in this case, I actually considered the idea that maybe it was a stupid thing to do. Then I saw a profile in chat the other night while i was at work.... and on that profile, i saw a link, and when I clicked on that link, I got this page. Well ... just look. I shouldn't need to say more. Hey, all i did was post a picture of my car ... it's not like I went out of the way to take a picture of my ass and upload it to my site. Ahh, I feel so much better about myself after having seen that. She also serves as a prime example of the class of women who live here ... they think so highly of themselves, yet they wonder why no one respects them.... err at least, they would be wondering that if there were anything in that mellon on their shoulders besides dusty chicken feathers. The poor girl... so young, so innocent, so ...stupid. Anyway ... I think this is the part where I wrap things up, having made my point once again ... ciao.