For all who read this, know this.... it seems I have left out a very important part of my life from this Journal recently. And for those parties concerned, my sincerest apologies. If you've been following along, I mentioned Wade a while back... a friend of mine... or at least that's how things started. It's kind of hard for me to rehash everything that we've discussed and talked about... the funny shit we've talked about... and I laughed...; the painful memories we shared... and I cried..; the intense boredom we shared in each other's company... and we "::poke::"-ed each other endlessly. This whole time I could see, so plainly that she liked me... which honestly took time to get used to... and well... You have to understand that I had decided a while back, that from now on, I should automatically assume that anyone who likes me is probably a liar whose only goal is to hurt me. So for some time, I tried to play at cool... and maybe, just maybe if I acted like I couldn't be hurt, then she'd go for some other sap. However... time passed and this thought keeps creeping in on me... "maybe she really likes you" ...it was ringing in my head. I swear... I may have even heard the shit in my sleep. So gradually, I start to give in to the voice, along with her flirting and innuendo laced comments. :::takes out his scar filled heart, holds it up high... lays it on the table::: Then it occurs to me, "I've got to meet this girl!" Well, meanwhile her computer hasn't been working so great, and I haven't seen her online to test her on this wonderful idea. Well, a few days later, I talk to her online... and she tells me she's back dating her ex-fiancé. :::wade sticks a needle into the heart on the table::: Alright... "well..." I say to her... "hmmm... so this would be a bad time to mention I thought about using my weekend off (30th & 31st) to make a little trip." to which she says " what are you talking about ?"... "so you found a girl you really like ?" ...Well... she obviously didn't understand what I meant... and since she is now seeing someone... all I could say was "I guess not." But I did talk to her along and I told her, that since I was going to be off that weekend, I was open to come see her. She thought this was a splendid idea... at least until today. Today, today, today... how can I put into words what happened today? Well, I come home from Randy's after she has had a somewhat boring conversation with my computer... (apparently, Trillian doesn't show when you're idle... but i did have my away up) she thought i was just sitting here ignoring her for some goofball reason. Well, to sum up another chapter in this saga, she doesn't want me to come over Saturday like I had planned. :::Wade takes Gallagher's melon-smashing mallet and sends my heart flying through the first six rows::: It's honestly shit like this that makes me write that sad shit I call poetry ...that she hates. And to top it all off, she knows this is the right thing to do because there's nothing about her in this journal. Like fuckin aye, there's nothing in here about the shit I had to go through to get my taxes filed this year either, but it doesn't mean it didn't happen! Not everything makes it to this stinking piece of shit journal ...that nobody even reads! So if any of you non-existent web site visitors read this and try to talk to me, you'll understand why i might seem a little scatter-brained at the moment. And Wade... since you're the only one that reads this anyway, to make this perfectly clear, You were the so-called "mystery girl" ... you were the only person I had ever made any plans to see on my upcoming weekend off. You know, I wouldn't have been terribly upset if you had just left me alone back when I met you... back when I felt like no relationship of mine could ever work out... and that I was destined to be alone. Yea... I felt like that then... and it is true, I feel like that now... but you know what... somewhere in the middle, I really wanted to see if there could be anything between us. And I know one day I'll look back, like i said, and wonder what might have been. I'm sorry u don't feel the same.

I am sooo bored... just sitting here at work doing squat... ok, well, actually I'm sure I could find something to do if i wanted, but who the hell would do such a thing? Heh... Well, Last night I took all the kids (Jessica, Kellie, Scottie) to see a movie. My treat. We went and saw Ice Age, which was a typical kid flick... but not so bad that I couldn't sit through it. I didn't really go for the movie anyway. I just needed to take my mind of things. Of course, I just can't help but think how much I wish someone would have been nice enough to do something like that with me when I was a kid. I mean, if I was ever taken to the movies, it was "No, you can't have any popcorn, candy, etc... you should have ate before we left the house." So when I take the kids out, it's "whatever you want" ... and the kids usually don't take advantage of me... too much ;-) Maybe that's just the kid in me... I guess I haven't quite reached the point where I have become the always reasonable adult who zaps the fun out of everything afterall. At least, I hope that's the case.

Hey, what's up... yes, in case you're wondering, you're still on Deathonabun.com and this is still Glenn's site. This is... or will be... hopefully, my new online Journal. I still have some bugs to work out... but pretty much it's going to be on a month by month basis, or at least, each time u come here it will show a month's worth of entries unless u go back into the archives where u should be able to find everything all the way back to this entry. Pretty cool, huh? I just wish there were a way to get the past two years worth of journal entries into this new set up... I may find a work around...if not, I'll just preserve the old one somewhere on the site for a while until this one has becomes significantly large... at least a few months... maybe longer. I really
have no idea. I may ditch this new shit all together... let me know what u think. heh

All right, it's time for another journal entry... and I had the thing all planned out but since Wade ended up dragging it out of me before I had a chance to put it here, I'm just going to post our AIM conversation.... but it is sooo long, I'm going to have to put it on a separate page and just link to it. Anyway... it's a little more about my personal life than any of the recent entries so if that's the kind of thing u like, ... well... just go ahead and click here.