Well, it's tuesday, the last tuesday of my 'high school career' and I still don't know if I'm going to pass for sure. Well, the worst thing that can happen is having to go to school next semester and saying the hell with mid-year grad. The next biggest news... well, that would have to be Susan. No, she's not my new girlfriend or anything (god I wish), she's just the newest addition to girls with which I am stuck in the 'friend zone.' I've known her since elementary school but we never really got to know each other in all that time. Anyway, as I was saying, we're 'only friends' which is what always happens when I'm really interested in a girl. I can't really blame her, she's engaged to a guy named Gerald and he's a cool guy I guess. It's weird, I always have the feeling that guys like him just don't know how lucky they are. Back to Susan, she's bisexual and actually prefers women over guys, and again, I can't blame her... I prefer women over guys too. She says men are pigs and has the typical womenistic view of us... I'd kinda like to prove her wrong but frankly, but with the thoughts I have about her, I can't say for sure that she's not right. We went out last Saturday night to a movie, and then we got something to eat, and after that we drove around till her curfew (about an hour) talking about all the years of school we've had together. I had a great time and I learned a few embarrassing things about her that she said no one else knows... you never know when info like that may come in handy. The weird thing is that with any other girl, I would have called it a date... but not with Susan. Does that make sense? Actually, I've had a lot less fun on dates. So you're thinking....where's her boyfriend, Gerald? He's off at college. I don't know him very well, but she told him we would be hanging out... so I can only guess that he doesn't feel threatened by me. Look at that pic on my bio page and you'll see why. The biggest problem I have is well, I have the biggest crush on her. Usually, when I have a crush on girls at school, as soon as I stop seeing them, the problem cures itself. (i.e. I'm getting out of school soon so I won't think about her anymore). I mentioned to her that I wouldn't see her after I graduated and she said what we would still hang out and stuff. Now let's put a twist in it. The really weird thing is I am trying to distance myself from her. I tell her sometimes, "I hate you." And she's always baffled by this because she's done nothing to make me hate her. The problem is with me though, I have a crush on her, but she's just too darn friendly. It's like always seeing what you want just a foot in front of you, and there's nothing you can do to obtain it. But anyway, there's nothing I can do about that, it's just the way things are. Stay tuned for my next journal entry.. Also, Susan if you're reading this all I can say is every bit of it is true.. I can't predict how you will react... so that's all I really have to say here.